Campaign Moves Into High Gear

The Jay Leno for President campaign announced today that it has moved into high gear.

"Fourteen months isn't very much time to get ready," said Howard Lester, chairman of the Jay Leno for President campaign. "I mean, the sheer number of candidates in the race is going to keep Jay's team of writers at NBC busy day and night until at least November 2008."

Support for Jay has been running high. The numbers are impressive. To date, there have been nearly 60 billion visits logged at websites related to entertainment or politics, the two cornerstones of the Jay Leno for President campaign.

Experts seem to agree. Said one unidentified expert, "Given Jay's undisputed popularity as the leader of late night hosts, it's only natural that people would support him as a presidential candidate. In my uninformed opinion, Jay's going to be the man to beat."

Candidates from both parties, wrapped up in their own self-absorbed presidential ambitions, aren't paying much attention to Jay's campaign.

"They [Jay's challengers] are appearing on his show as if absolutely nothing's going on," said one obscure political analyst, "and that's a big mistake for them. The more they talk about their own campaigns on Jay's show, the more people will realize that Jay Leno is the only logical choice for president."

Today's "high gear" announcement by the Jay Leno for President campaign follows last week's announcement that the campaign had moved into second gear. Keeping with Jay's love of cars, campaign officials told supporters that all future announcements will be based upon the same automobile metaphors to help keep the campaign in-tune and revved-up.