Jay's "Cleavage" Sparks Little Controversy

Hillary's not the only one facing the cleavage issue. A letter received by the Jay Leno for President campaign contained a picture of Jay in an open shirt that sat low on his chest and had a subtle V-shape. "It's cleavage," the anonymous sender proclaimed, "not an unseemly amount, but there it is!"

Sure enough, under additional examination with a magnifying glass, Jay Leno for President organizers noticed a distinct plunging neckline that appeared to reveal the "fuller" portion of Jay's chest.

"We can't deny it," said Jay Leno for President campaign chairman Howard Lester, "because there it is. But to call it 'cleavage' on a man, especially on one with Jay's generally acceptable, yet impeccably attired, physique is really pushing it. I can't believe Jay's opponents are stooping so low as to poke fun at his anatomy. It just goes to show how worried they are about him possibly declaring that he's going to run for president."

Though Jay Leno himself has not publicly commented on the picture, many political experts agree that the photo might actually boost Jay's overall popularity. Said one prominent campaign analyst, "Jay's quiet aplomb in handling this 'cleavage' issue by not commenting on it, nor paying it any acknowledgement at all, is a strong reminder to people about the kind of candidate Jay Leno could be in this campaign. When Hillary finally confirmed to the public that she actually has boobs, it derailed her rhetoric for weeks. But, you've got to admit, that was better than having to listen to everything else she was saying."

Another political expert summed up the general mood of most Americans by saying, "Sooner or later Jay's going to make a quick joke about all this and the issue will evaporate completely. That's the difference between between Jay Leno and those other deadbeats."

Jay Leno for President campaign workers have been busy surfing the Internet non-stop since the anonymous letter arrived, searching for any other revealing or compromising pictures of Jay. "We don't want to be taken by surprise," remarked chairman Lester, "so we're gathering every sordid picture of Jay we can find, real or re-touched. Then, we'll take the initiative and publish them first to prove that, as a candidate, Jay will have nothing to hide and certainly nothing to be ashamed of showing in public."

Jay Leno has not yet acknowledged the existence of the campaign to draft him as a presidential candidate, but supporters are convinced that his silence is part of a brilliant personal strategy to enter the campaign at the very apex of his popularity. Campaign organizers are expecting contact from Jay Leno or NBC sometime within the next few weeks.