Jay's Huge Diversity of Supporters Confirms Everyone Wants Him to Run for President

The Jay Leno for President campaign has surpassed the campaign efforts of every 2008 presidential candidate by achieving 100% diversity among its supporters. This news comes as a blow to the campaign efforts of Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, Mitt Romney, John McCain, and others who are still struggling to gain the support of various ethnic, religious, and socio-economic groups around the country.

"Jay's popularity among diverse groups has been evident for years," said Jay Leno for President campaign chairman, Howard Lester. "I mean, look back at the audiences for The Tonight Show over the years and you'll see the broadest cross-section of Americans there is: Men, women, young, old, black, white, Latino, Asian, gay, straight, Canadian, blondes, short, tall, rich, poor, middle-class, working-class, retired, unemployed, happy, sad, well-informed, unaware, illegal aliens, bi-lingual, well-groomed, disheveled, fit, fat, skinny, and the '[fill-in-the-blank]-challenged' from every walk of life. And then there's all the religious and ethnic groups who come to Jay's show, too. It's crystal clear to everyone that Jay's popularity cuts across the entire range of American voters."

Other candidates must know it. Over the past several weeks, the major presidential hopefuls have been burning through millions of dollars and thousands of miles, crisscrossing the nation to meet with diverse groups of voters,desperately trying to gain their support. The media, hungry for anything to report, has shown Clinton's meeting with blacks, Obama's meeting with women, Romney's meeting with Catholics, and Edwards' meeting with bald guys. Each candidate claims to have the support of these groups, but political experts either don't see it or they don't expect the support to last.

Said one well-known network political analyst, "When people gather to hear Hillary, Barack, or Mitt speak, they're going because it's an event, something to do, not because they're actually interested in what the candidates have to say. You could line up all the candidates one after the other, and all these various groups would be happy to go, just to watch themselves in the audience on TV. Most people could care less about the message, mainly because nobody believes anything candidates say anyway."

Media experts agree. "Once they [candidates] are gone, they're quickly forgotten, and nobody remembers what they said," commented one well-know expert. "The candidates all claim full support from every group they talk to, but they generally come away with the same handful of supporters they had to begin with. It's sad that presidential candidates have to spend millions of dollars trying to gain the attention of groups that have no inherent interest in them. Maybe that's why so many people are supporting the Jay Leno for President campaign."

Interest in the Jay Leno for President campaign isn't just high, it's sky-high. "It's remarkable how many people have visited our campaign site," said chairman Lester, "and they're all crazy about drafting Jay as a presidential candidate. If the incredibly diverse demographics of our visitors is any indication, there's not one single type of voter who isn't interested in drafting Jay Leno to run for president. The other candidates may say they have widespread support, but Jay's the only one who's actually got it."

Overwhelming support notwithstanding, Jay Leno has not yet acknowledged the campaign to draft him as a presidential candidate, nor has he actually declared his intentions to run. However, that fact is of little concern to the folks at the Jay Leno for President campaign. "We know Jay knows," said one campaign staffer, "and he knows that we know. And we know that he knows that we know. So we know, and we believe he knows we know, that it's just a matter of time until he validates our efforts and declares his candidacy, you know?"

We know.